Friday, December 4, 2015

MWA final draft original. It also includes my reflection letter that i decided to write it in third person to myself.

Dear Marcela,
            The purpose of my memoir was to point out the significance of my decision of joining a sorority and my transition of thought of what being in a sorority. This again was one of the best decisions of your life, just by the way.
            This amazing story was for all the girls who may possibly have doubts about joining a sorority or people who had a negative point of view of Greek life in general, which is most of society. This helped me write this paper because I was once had a horrible view on Greek life. I loved the idea of writing from both sides, a pessimist turned optimist. It was really inspiring to write this memoir from both points of view because really everyone should know the good side of sororities, not the one published one people see on the television. Of course there are some certain sororities and fraternities that fall through the cracks, but really a majority is a strong group of men and women who look to empower themselves as a group, individually, and the community.
            From the peer feedback, I changed my prompt from finding a home to actually my transition through Greek rush to make my audience clear. This also helped me be clearer in the way I talked to my audience in the paper, I found it easier to explain my ideas before, after, and during my rush experience. There was no peer feedback I didn’t take into this paper. They commented on my use of dialogue and said I could have possibly used more so I did try to incorporate that into my essay.
            Well Marcela, you did it again, you procrastinated into the last hour of this paper. I think if you actually had more time, you could have put more detail on how your life was before a sorority and how it was after joining one. Since you still not an officially initiated member, that would have been a little hard, so kudos to you for staying away from that.




Another Sorority Story
New Mexico, the unknown desert just south of my fruitful desert, Utah. Salt Lake has been my bird’s nest for so many years; the mountains have had an unspoken promise to keep me safe from the outside world. I left those boundaries to find a new home somewhere else.
            “Are you sure this is what you want to do?” my mom asked as we were on my journey in my little Volkswagen Jetta. Was I really sure what I was doing? I was already going to be in a new environment, did I really want to jump into Greek Life? I wasn’t sure if the women I would meet were empowered women with great pasts, or if they were just like the girls you see on the TV who were caught doing God knows what. My mom and I drove in the same day recruitment began. I had to get ready in the bathroom of a McDonald’s on Central, wiping off the car lag and putting my best face forward.
We entered the SUB ballroom; we were all seated facing north, where I also got to experience my first New Mexican storm. The Rho Gammas, the leaders during Panhellenic Recruitment, were trying to sound as preppy and cheerful as possible, but the darkness lingered behind them. I would giggle to myself every so often, thinking it was an omen. I had never gotten along with girls before, and here I am joining a cluster of them. Sororities were never a big concern to me. In high school, girls made it their ultimatum in their college chooses. This to me was crazy, I didn’t come to college to party and be a part of an elite organization! I came to college to become educated and start a career. Sororities were just something I was told that would look good for my upcoming scholarships. This wasn’t a lifestyle I was going to adapt to, like in many areas in my life, I refuse to mold to my surrounds to please everyone but myself. I wanted to get involved in the community and make a change to the world. Be able to leave this world and know I left a positive footprint. I also wanted to be around people that would support me in anything I did and not bring me down. I didn’t need vampires in my life, sucking out the life from me every time I was around them.
            They told us we were going to walk to Greek Row. They handed us trash bags so we could cover ourselves. Again giggled from nervousness, walking in a single file line in trash bags across campus, and I couldn’t help but laugh at myself and think this was the first task of initiation. I heard the whispers in front of me of girls that whined about how their hair and makeup was ruined. I was at an anxiety high, thinking I was going to be around girls that were only worried about their physical appearance, shallow girls that take that idea to every aspect of their lives. I didn’t come from that background. In Salt Lake, I worked with children with special needs and children seen by the society as the minority group. I found joy from teaching these kids, maybe because I saw myself in many of them. I was tired of this two faced ideal that people had of me, that just because of my age, gender, or race I was unable to be a leader. Lord, what have I just signed up for. My thoughts were spinning and I really just wanted to cry and go home.
            We were separated into groups, and I was determined that the groups were based on preference. We stood by the first door and I imagined all the girls would look the same. All preppy girls, that looked like Barbie’s and wore the latest Naked pallet. Picturing their perfect cat eyes judging me with my barely combed hair and maroon shorts, I was preparing myself for the worst. We entered the first house and how I was surprised. It was a great diverse group of girls, but I was going to stick firm to idea of them that society has made me believe. We were sat down in an elaborate living room, something I did not expect to see in a sorority house. The first day was like our introduction day to all the sororities. We were under their magnifying glass, like ants. To me it was like speed dating, they sat us down as girls would come and go within minutes asking specific questions of our life. “What are you interested in doing in life? What is your career goal? What service work have you done? Tell me about yourself? What school did you go to? Oh you are from Utah, are you Mormon? What brought you to New Mexico?” The questions were hammered in the sort time we had, I never was able to even sip on the water each house gave us when we entered. The time went by so quickly, and I realized I was stressfully having fun. I was frustrated with my emotions, that I judged these girls so harshly assuming that they were judging me first. I felt horrible because that was not the person I am, I built the wall with no intent to bring it down. Now I could feel the wall crumbling in.
            The next day, I came in more optimistic. I brushed my hair and choose a nice fashion savvy outfit. This alone was a big step for me, considering I only brush my hair completely for special occasions. We meet this time at Greek Lot in front of all the houses. Again we were broken up into the same groups as yesterday and I was comfortable chatting with the girls in group. I realized I was opening up, and I was unsure if that was a good thing, but I decided to go with the flow anyways. This day we were going to get house tours from each sorority, except Alpha Chi Omega because obviously they didn’t have house. The girls showed us there lavish houses, and all I could think about is how much better they were then my dorm room. I started imagining myself doing homework in a desk in one of the rooms, but I shooed away the idea. Still a bit stubborn and hesitant about joining this type organization, it was hard to not begin to make picture me here. All the houses had a sort of composite that showed all the famous, successful members that were part of a sorority. I was left in awe at some of the people, Harper Lee, Lucy Lu, the first lady astronaut to live at the International Space Station, and CEOs. All these outrageously successful women were in the same spot I was many years ago, and here I was judging these girls for being nothing. My mind opened up to so many possibilities at the moment, and I felt my excitement grow as I let my imagination go wild.
            The third day came around and now the tables have turned. I was nervous with excitement, but questioning if I truly put my best face forward. Now I would just have to wait and see, because tonight was the first night of preference night. This was when the sorority had the chance to invite you back into their lovely chateau, but that was the thing, you had to get the invitation. I was nervously held my phone close to my heart all day, as my mom and I tried to venture around the unknown desert of New Mexico. We were in Santa Fe when the first message hit. I dramatically paused and stared at my five inches screen, “I got invited back by all the houses!” My mom and I couldn’t help but jump around in glee in the middle of the Trader Joes in Santa Fe. We zoomed back to the hotel so I could get properly ready for tonight. She did my hair and makeup, very light as to not look too overdone. I went into this night with so much hope. This night the houses explained their philanthropies. Make a Wish to domestic violence, things I wouldn’t have imagined how to help at such huge communities. I loved what they were doing to make such a huge difference in other people’s lives. I found myself with sweaty palms by the end of the night, because I knew my Rush was coming to an end tomorrow.
            Last day, I was in tears with my mom not only because she was leaving tomorrow to go back home but because I would get my final invitation to a house tomorrow without her. We stayed up the night before talking about my decision, I was between two sororities. The whole night was a great blur, it could have been because I was nervous and shaking or I basically had tears in my eyes the whole time. This was the last day I could possibly see myself as a sorority girl. What I once thought was the most horrible society, was now the group of members I wanted to call sisters.
            It was four days of intense soul searching. There were four houses for me to visit, four huge groups of girls ready to judge my every move.  My heart rate bounced in my stomach as I continued to say my monologue four different times; my prior service work, future aspirations, academic goals, etc.  It was not until the third day that I could actually jump off script and have a decent conversation with a few girls in two of the houses.  That’s when I knew I had a decision to make. Home, that is what I was searching for. I loved my Great Salt Lake, but I needed to break free from the cloud of happy faces and experience the real world. Be the person I wanted to be and I truly believe this was the first step in my path.
My swollen heart was split into two. They told me I would just know, but at that point my brain was just mush. Four days of Recruitment, for what? I spent my last four days away from my mom just so I can say good-bye to her tomorrow. She reassured me before I was dropped off that I would know which place to call home. Oh how she was wrong, they were all wrong. I got out of the second house more confused than when I walked in. My home was already Albuquerque, but the question on my mind was who would be my new family? Which chapter would consist of the girls I would call my sisters?  This question was all I could think about while running to the bathroom to check myself because, like always, Aunt Flow had the best timing.
The only dress I brought down from Utah was a white dress that was classy yet still sassy at the same time, something that represented my personality in my wardrobe. We lined up in alphabetical order. The Rho Gamma yelled over the crowed of whispering of girls, “No sound all the way to the SUB!” Complete silence was followed, as we continued to march to the SUB. I picked the worse day to wear high heels, but that was no longer the biggest concern that night.  My concern was with the house I would soon call my home. 
            I let my heart decide when choosing my top house, and allowed for the matching process to do the rest.  I believed that the house I put on the top of my list aligned with my values.  It would not be until the next day when I would be united with my sisters. 

            To this day I know I made the right decision going through recruitment.  My sisters are there for me in troubling times.  They are the ones I can depend on while living here in the Land of Enchantment.  Chi Omega is home. I may have never thought to be a sorority girl, but I have found a place a can stand out and fit in with a great bunch of girls. That of which I am so grateful for.

MWA rough draft. I was setting the ball rolling.


            New Mexico, the unknown desert just south of my fruitful desert, Utah. Salt Lake has been by birds nest for so many years, the mountains have had an unspoken promise to keep me safe from the outside world. I left those boundaries to find a new home somewhere else.
            “Are you sure this is what you want to do?” my mom asked as we were on my journey in my little Volkswagen Jetta. Was I really sure what I was doing? I was already going to be in a new environment, did I really want to jump into Greek life. These were empowering women with great past. Or were they just like the girls you see on the TV who got caught doing god knows what.


My already swollen heart is split into two. They told me I would just know, but at this point my brain is just mush. Four days of Rush Week, for what? I spent my last four days away from my mom just so I can say good-bye to her tomorrow. She reassured me before I was dropped off that I would know what place that I would call home. Oh how she was wrong, they were all wrong. I get out of the second house more confused than when I walked in. My home was already Albuquerque, but the present question is who would be my new family? Who would be the girls I would call my sisters, or run to when I was having a bad day? Why it all I could think about is running to the bathroom to check myself, because like always Aunt Flow always had the best timing. The only dress I brought down from Utah was a white dress that was classy yet still sassy at the same time, something that represented my personality in my wardrobe. We lined up in alphabetical order. The Rho Gamma, or our leader during Panhellenic Rush Week, yells over the whisper of girls, “No sound all the way to the sub!” Complete silence, from Greek row to the SUB. I picked the worse day to wear highs, but that was not biggest concern that night.

SWA for assignment. To describe showing versus telling and how I will apply it to my first draft and ultimately the final project.

SWA for assignment. To describe showing versus telling and how I will apply it to my first draft and ultimately the final project.
Tell/Summary:
            Time went by quick. I was dropped off and the girls put their best faces on. Confusion hit me like a wrecking ball. I finished the presentation from the Pi Beta Phi House and there were girls crying, mixed with emotions. I kept it together because I also had to put my best face forward and look like the big girl I was supposed to be. Four days prior I would’ve never thought I would be part of something so big and great. Four months ago, worse! I never would have even pictured myself in a sorority. We walk from Greek row to the Sub in utter silence. The ballots were passed out and you could hear a pin drop in the dense of that room. We made our preference from one- being our favorite- to four- being our least favorite. We turned it in and our decision was left in God’s hands at that point.

Show/Narrative:
            My already swollen heart is split into two. They told me I would just know, but at this point my brain is just mush. Four days of Rush Week, for what? I spent my last four days away from my mom just so I can say good-bye to her tomorrow. She reassured me before I was dropped off that I would know what place that I would call home. Oh how she was wrong, they were all wrong. I get out of the second house more confused than when I walked in. My home was already Albuquerque, but the present question is who would be my new family? Who would be the girls I would call my sisters, or run to when I was having a bad day? Why it all I could think about is running to the bathroom to check myself, because like always Aunt Flow always had the best timing. The only dress I brought down from Utah was a white dress that was classy yet still sassy at the same time, something that represented my personality in my wardrobe. We lined up in alphabetical order. The Rho Gamma, or our leader during Panhellenic Rush Week, yells over the whisper of girls, “No sound all the way to the sub!” Complete silence, from Greek row to the SUB. I picked the worse day to wear highs, but that was not biggest concern that night.

            Writing in general is not strength of mine so the weakness of the narrative will always have to be going off topic and not really bringing the story together in the way I want. I do that when I am talking and am always afraid I will do that in my writing. With that I can also be very strong in detail in many aspects like my mood at a certain point in time or describing my surroundings. For the Summary, I like how I can be concise without using detail but I don’t enjoy being that dull in my writing. I thing a story should be interesting and worth listening to, so if I had to choosing between showing vs telling, I would choose to show my reader though a movie clip of my story in words. This helps my memoir because this is a moment that really changed my life in an unexpected way and I was very emotional in both my decision and my big move here to New Mexico.